The Cave Woman

Stigma of heightism…

I had no idea, such a Word even exists? 

Surely the concept does exist, I realise as I stumble upon this article on “Heightism”, do women prefer taller men? (don’t ask me what I was searching in Google).

It says “when it comes to love size (read height, don’t want you to get any wrong ideas) does matter, research suggests. For height is key to sexual attraction.” We all know that, its a general norm that Men are supposed to be taller than woman, that’s hormones and genes we’re talking about. I was surprised to know that the mere difference is not important, it has to be a considerable difference. The scientists have even worked out the ideal proportions – a man should be 1.09 times taller than his partner. This can be expressed as a ratio of 1.09:1.

Wow, really? is it that important that someone would waste such an awful lot of time to formulate this ratio. That’s patience which I am not in possession of. 

So my mind starts doing the maths, I am 5 ft. 8 in. (tall or short?) so an ideal partner for me should be 5′ 2″? I mean its not that bad but I’d love me some height on a woman. I have preferences too you know and I’m single. When you’re alone you start building up the framework for the ideal partner, all in the head of course. But ok, I’ll take 5′ 2″ I guess, I’m easy going. But what is this, Men want the exact opposite, they like petite! Hold on one second, are you trying to say I’m a woman. Go to hell and I mean that in the nicest way possible, I like being in rarity :).

So if the girl you like is 5′ 7″ you should have listened to mum and had taller, stronger & sharper, Bournvita and stand at 6′ 1″. I don’t believe it, Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman looked so good together and he was 4 inches shorter than her.

I’m holding my tongue out, if you were here you would see. But I’m no Tom Cruise. To my benefit However, the Indian male in my age demographic (20-49 yrs) is only 5′ 5″ on average. 

I read wikipedia, I know this stuff. 

But am I tall? Nope, far from it. I’m what the kids call nowadays “Average”. 

What’s it got to do with the title you ask? 

There exists a school of thought that believes it dates back to the Hunter-gatherer “Cavemen time”. The Men would go hunt for food and supplies and having taller, broader structure was a definite advantage and women were expected to home the living quarters and  gather rearing children near camp. These dissimilar roles and settings pushed men and women to evolve different hormonal balances and distinct brain structures.

Does it date that far back? are we so primitive? It does have some logic to it though. Another thing I learn taller men have higher social status, earn more and are at lower risk from illness. Whoa! is it that simple or is it complete rubbish. How does it matter regarding social status or earning more? But the Biological part of it I really cant argue, because I’m not an expert on that. Are average or shorter men at such disadvantage?

Lambe aadmi ki akal ghutne mein hoti hai? (Tall men think from their knees) 

Lol!.. A pathetic attempt to make the shorter audience feel better. 

But you know what, I call Bullshit. If life was this simple it wouldn’t be biological anymore, it would just be mathematical. How hard do you think it is to calculate the 1.09 ratio and anyway statistics doesn’t mean too much to the individual. If it was that simple math equation then we wouldn’t have any troubled marriages, isn’t it? I can instantly remember this nice couple. Tall and handsome dude and short and petite beautiful girl. I don’t know what transpires a man to hit his wife but this dude had no holds barred when it comes to hitting, he would do the same to his mother too, weirdo. I can easily remember some couples right now fitting into this flawed ratio of 1.09 and their husbands turned out abusive. Its not only women who suffer, there are plenty of guys ending up with the short end of the stick too. Gender equality has really come of age, or are we heading in the opposite direction?

Well for me? I’m a student of chemistry and did not pick Biology as a major. A good chemistry can make you overlook and even appreciate minor flaws for are we not shining examples of imperfections? Gods are supposed to perfect. The initial impression on your mind starts transcending into something so much more beautiful as you get to know the person. Love is a subject of chemistry too perhaps, that is why all reasoning fails and all logic goes down the drain. A nice Bollywood film described it as Chemical locha* in the Brain.

Hold on a second, I just got an email from a 5′ 5″ good looking girl from a very popular Indian online dating site. So all is not lost, there is hope for us “Average”. I am over 8 inches to the average Indian female height, so I guess its ok. Tell me what you think, if you like this post click on like button, leave a comment below or follow me on

Wish me luck, Adios amigos!.

* Locha can be described as Chemical disturbance to this context.

  1. Ranju says:

    I love the humour in here. Specially, ‘you should have listened to mum and had taller, stronger & sharper, Bournvita and stand at 6′ 1’
    & ‘A pathetic attempt to make the shorter audience feel better.’
    Regarding the article, I don’t think people practically give much importance to the height diff though the concept of man being (at least slightly) taller than woman is strictly followed. 🙂
    Nice write up.

    • Kshitij says:

      Thanks so much for giving it time to read, you’re words are encouraging. You’ve made the ‘not so tall’ readers and this poor soul very happy ;).
      I do believe so too, although the physical attributes are the most vital aspect people look for in the search of their perfect mates, but when you do actually fall in love all the pre conceived notions are tossed out the window.
      Tall, short, fat, too thin and so on doesn’t matter any more. Chemistry is more important.

      • Vet Cho",) says:

        Heightism??? (curious….)

        As I googled it, the term was from an American Sociologist, Feldman and was use in 1971 (The presentation of shortness in everyday life), derived from Height “Describes as prejudice or discrimination on height”

        Height now a days is not that important (though in reality taller ones have more advantage in life, add up the physical appearance, this two connived).

        What’s with the ratio? it’s a stupid thing to do, giving time computing just to find a perfect pair. duh! That’s why some are abused, harassed & maltreated coz’ they are just looking for the two things. As As we grow older & age increases, our body decreases too, so one should look for the attitude and the inner beauty of a person. It doesn’t matter if one is tall or short, fat or thin, ugly or beautiful, whats important is how you value & accept one another (comes with Love, Trust & Respect) and everything will turn out well.

        Just my thoughts & opinion 🙂

        Good Luck to you!!!

  2. nishi1996 says:

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  3. claidig says:

    I don’t really pay attention to height with guys; I’m more interested in what they have to say than whether they’re close enough to hear me.

    Most people think I’m taller than I actually am (5’4″, which is average UK height apparently) and it’s not until I point it out that they notice. As for the men in my life, I wish I could say I deliberately sought out blonde, blue-eyed men who are 6′ and above. Granted, I like blondes. It just so happens all the blondes males in my life are 6′ and above. Who am I to complain, ha.

    • Kshitij says:

      Hahaha you’ve been the lucky one. There’s surely an advantage to have a tall stature and be blue eyed. But I think its more interesting to find out what they have to say. A good conversational relationship will go till the very end, your good looks will be lost one day when we become old souls. The question is whether you want to get old with someone for his good looks or because you haven’t left any topic unexplored on your endless conversations. Hope you find the whole package, the looks and the brains. Even if you don’t it doesnt matter, you won’t notice the difference of height after a while.

      All the best 🙂

      • claidig says:

        Ha, I’ve found him pretty early on in my life (6 and a half years so far), although brains…it’s debatable 🙂 I’m used to the height difference by now, with him and everyone else I know. I learnt early on that anyone taller than me is just tall, other people can put a measurement to it.

        Like I said, I’m more interested in what people have to say. Them being attractive is just an added bonus, really, and I can assure you this is a tried and tested theory for me 🙂

        And to you!

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